Monday, April 14, 2014

17 Signs Your Home Is Crawling With ... Kids.

1.        The thought of being vomited on doesn’t totally gross you out.

2.        You cook and serve macaroni and cheese more than three times a week.

3.        At least one room in your house looks like a it was hit by Toys-R-Us bomb.

4.        You know how to check for head lice.

5.        When the temperature breaks 80 degrees, your first thought is, “Let’s set up the sprinkler.”
Look familiar?
Then, You likely have kids. 

6.        You own at least one container teaming with crayons, or markers, or Legos.

7.        There are three versions of Angry Birds on your smart phone, and you’ve never played the game once.

8.        You know the lyrics to the theme song from My Little Pony, Team Umizoomi, or Doc McStuffins.

9.        You own more than five laundry baskets, all of which are currently full. 

10.    You have an opinion about Disney shows. (Don't get me started on "A.N.T. Farm").

11.    Most Friday nights you rent a movie, and yet you can’t remember the last time you stayed awake to watch one.

12.    You consider the term “well-rested” merely a theoretical construct.

13.    The past three movies you saw in the movie theater were animated.

14.    You’ve only been to one Broadway show in the past decade (or ever), and it was “Annie.”

15.    “Sleeping in” means anything after 8 a.m.

16.    You consider free babysitting a thoughtful gift.

17.    Your idea of a perfect vacation is a quiet hotel room. … Nothing else.

If more than a few of these describe your life, there’s a good chance you have kids -- loads of them. Don’t panic. There are many people dealing with the same little challenges.

And, ironically, experts describe this as the “Best time in your life,” and say things like, “Enjoy it, because it goes by too fast.”

As infestations go, it’s a good one. Because, these critters can also be lots of fun.


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Larry said...

Thankfully, my boys are past many of these things.
However, sleeping till 8 - oh so rare. I am happy when they both make it till 7.
PS. I hated Doc McStuffins.

Zach Rosenberg said...

Crayons in a bin. So many bins. So many crayons.

Roy said...

haha good post... they are all true!

Cort Ruddy said...


My oldest (11) has started to sleep like a teen, until 11am on weekends -- when we let her. it's weird.

Thanks for the read, as always.

Cort Ruddy said...


Glad to see you here. I've enjoyed your work for a while.

For the record, I hate play-doh more than crayons.

Cort Ruddy said...


Thanks for reading, glad you enjoyed it.