Monday, June 17, 2013

Would you like some Cheese with that Whine?

Case of Whiners
I could’ve written some cheesy Father’s Day essay chronicling the many deep thoughts and profound reflections that occurred to me during a family weekend devoted to dadhood.  But instead, I decided to show one of the gifts I got from the wife and kids.   It was a Father's Day gift to be savored. Literally.

This gift, which they called “A Case of Whiners,” shows in a pictorial the many reasons why I feel the desire -- no, the need -- to end so many days with a glass of wine (or even a bottle) in hand.  
 
The wife and kids were kind enough to attach each reason to a nice bottle of red, giving me enough wine to make it at least through the first few weeks of so-called "summer break."  Okay, maybe not quite.  But certainly through the next weekend.



Reason #1:  The first child's obsession with her siblings' earlier bedtime.

Reason #2:  The second child's inability to make the bus without stress  ... ever.

Reason #3:  The third child's hysterical screams whenever I pour cereal in
 the wrong bowl, pick out the wrong socks, or generally do anything for her.


Reason #4:  Has anyone seen reason #4? I mean child #4?
I swear, he was just here a minute ago.

Reason #5:  I JUST NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE FOR A MINUTE.
Maybe the dentist has an afternoon opening? Let me call.  

Next Father's Day, maybe they'll surprise me with an intervention.  We'll see. 

No comments: